Nicole Bristol was surrounded by a voice. It screamed at her during class. It stalked her at night.
The incessant sound was unrecognizable, plaguing her for months. Neither male or female, the Plant City High School student couldn’t make out what the voice was saying to her at first.
Then it got worse. It began to talk about gruesome things.
“It was like Jeffrey Dahmer was living in my head,” Bristol said.
Soon, a spindly cloaked figure appeared to her. The red eye-character wielded a knife and followed her every step.
But no one seemed to notice it beside her.
That’s because the figure and the voice existed only in her head.
Bristol has bipolar one disorder with visual and auditory hallucinations. The 16-year-old was diagnosed with the disorder about 18 months ago.
“I was perfectly healthy until about 14,” Bristol said. “Then things started to go wrong. I thought, ‘It’ll go away, and everything will be fine.’”
But it didn’t. Along with the hallucinations, Bristol experienced drastic mood swings. Periods of manic highs were followed by depressed lulls.
Irrational episodes of extreme anger landed her on the therapist’s couch. Finally, she told the therapist that not only was she having mood swings, but also she was seeing and hearing things.
Her therapist sent her to St. Joseph’s Behavioral Health Center. There, she endured a psychological evaluation. The rules were simple but strict: no cell phone, only 15 minutes of outside free time a day, and sleep with the door open.
“It was a different experience, but not a bad one,” Bristol said. “It was nice to meet kids dealing with the same situation. It was nice to talk with someone with similar feelings and knew what I was going through.”
She’s been admitted three times.
After her first hospital trip, Bristol tried to go back to school. But the crowded building caused her too much anxiety. Although she tried to get to school early, the hallways closed in with bodies. The bell was a death sentence. She has to be home-schooled.
Through all the obstacles, the resilient teenager isn’t letting her disorder stop her. On July 14, Bristol will compete in the National America Miss Pageant, in Orlando, her first pageant. Bristol wants to inspire other girls fighting against the odds.
She also thinks the pageant will help with her anxiety. To control her anxiety, Bristol takes Xanax. She also takes an antidepressant and an antipsychotic.
Crowds trigger her anxiety. To prepare for the pageant, she has been putting herself in front of people. During a workshop day, Bristol had to stand in front of around 50 people to introduce herself.
So far, Bristol remains calm about the experience. She’s still hasn’t yet written her introduction. But, she does have a dazzling dress.
The black chiffon gown is dotted with glimmering crystals. Bristol considers her fashion style more rocker chick and less girly girl. As tall as a runway model, Bristol has gaged ears and a whimsical tattoo of musical notes on her hip. Her friend, Summer Rogers, has offered to help do her makeup and hair.
And, no matter the pageant outcome, Bristol said the experience of taking the stage will be a huge step in her life.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of this is that there’s hope,” Bristol said. “There’s going to be a sunshiny day at the end. Never give up. Always keep trying.
“It’s something you have to accept,” she said of her diagnosis. “It’s part of who you are. You have to embrace it and not think negatively.”
Contact Amber Jurgensen at ajurgensen@plantcityobserver.com.