How do you handle change?
If you look at the course of human history, you realize that it represents a continuous process of change. The change in society at large results from changes within individual lives. How people accept and handle change can lead to conflicts or more peaceful times.
It makes sense to say that a lot about life has changed over time, but change tends to come to life in much shorter periods too. It even seems to visit us every day. The question we confront: how we deal with the pace and timing of change we encounter.
The first step in this process is accepting that change comes to us as an inevitable part of life. As people, we sometimes find solace in what does not change. This serves as personal mooring and can keep us calmer. However, it is good to realize that change can lead to growth and development in life.
Sometimes people resist any form of change in their lives. Insecurities get magnified and exaggerated if something differs from any patterns they have followed. This is understandable because we grow attached to what is familiar.
Thinking about what would happen if no change ever came to anything, we begin to see that positive growth and personal development are sometimes necessary to find life fulfilling. If I look at a picture of myself from 10 years ago, I become aware of what has changed in my life since then. Learning from personal change helps us to grow as people.
Strawberry plants start as seeds and then blossom into the sweet fruit that we enjoy. This requires growth in the life cycle of the plant for it to offer us something to go with that shortcake. If life and people never change, then our experience of life gets limited.
In fact, we can prepare ourselves for changes in life by accepting that it is not a matter of if change is coming, it is a matter of when. It does not even need to come by any force of will. Life tends to let us know what changes we need to make, because what we have done in the past stops working for us.
If we have eaten one type of food with such frequency that we lose our taste for it, then the change needed is a more diverse diet. Thus, the remedy for feeling stuck can come from the realization that our lives could use new ingredients.
When aspects of life change, it is good to remember that you need time to adjust on an emotional level. You may feel uncomfortable for a time with new and different developments that displace the status quo. Change makes life different or better — and only worse if it is viewed that way.
It is helpful to identify just what is changing in your life. Intervals of dissatisfaction are signals that attention is needed to a shift in a relationship or a way of thinking. Change tends to get our attention in unexpected and novel ways.
If you have just experienced a period of rapid change that feels disruptive, it helps to take comfort in events that happen at established times. These observances and traditions add structure and stability even when change comes to visit us.
Scott Toler is a licensed mental health counselor living in Plant City. He can be reached at eto1er25@tampabay.rr.com.
