So, how many of you remember your last conversation? With whom was it? What did you talk about? How long did it last? Feel like a teenager going through the 10th degree after coming back from the first date?
Let me explain why I am asking the barrage of seemingly interrogational questions. I have learned through the seasons of time that our lives are filled with the noise of conversations. From verbal to email, Facebook to tweet to text, on and on they go. Do we really listen to what is being said, or do we simply flow along with the river of ever-intruding words that bounce off our lives like the pebbles off the Alafia River surface?
During the Florida Strawberry Festival, I had the joy of daily walking around both early in the morning, before the crowds came, and in the middle-to-end of the day, when the crowds were starting to thin. It wasn’t the food that I gravitated toward, although temping me each step to become a “well-rounded” chaplain. Rather, it was the vendors, the workers and the numerous service personnel that caught my attention and heart. It is here that I remember many of the conversations, because I would stop at their booths at different times and ask, “How are you doing today?”
You may say: “So what? I have done that. What’s the big deal?” I just remembered what I was taught so many years ago here in Plant City: When you ask a question, stand still to listen to the answer, no matter how long it takes. A true farmer only can take care of his crop, when he stops long enough to inspect the leaves and the fruit. We only can take care of our community, when we stop long enough to look in their eyes as we listen to the words to see the soul of someone that wants to know, “Do you really care enough to listen?”
Many of those working at the festival had some type of hurt, need or concern. When you get right down to it, we all have something that is eating the leaves of our life and spoiling the fruit of our joy. It is not that we will not have bugs in our life. It is just good to know that someone can come along side and say, “Yep. I don’t like ’em either.” The power of feeling heard is a gift I am trying each day to give. I may not be able to give it to hundreds, but I can start with one …
Let me close with this thought. The Zulu tribe in Swaziland has a great greeting. It is “ngiyakhubona.” (Make sure you have a couple of cups of coffee to warm up the mouth so you can pronounce it!) However, it is not the word I want you to remember but rather the meaning behind it. The greeting simple conveys this thought: “I see you.”
We say things such as, “Hi,” “Hello,” or “Whassup,” but these greetings become the comfortable pebbles we throw when we do not want to “see someone.”
Think about what would happen to Plant City if everyone greeted someone with, “I see you.” We say it to children who hide behind their parents’ pants legs. They also smile, because they feel special that they have been noticed. Why not take the time to “see” your neighbor and ask, “How are you doing?” And stay long enough for them to realize you actually want to know. I believe it would produce a feeling of joy that no midway munchies could ever bring.
So what will be your next conversation? Let people know you care, and it will be unforgettable.
Chaplain Ret. Maj. Daniel Middlebrooks is president and CEO of Comprehensive Chaplaincy Care and Consulting. For more information, call (813) 767-2082 or email to chaplainmiddlebrooks@hotmail.com.
