When I go to Tampa, I sometimes visit Oxford Exchange. It is a combination coffee and tea shop, gift store, and book seller. A lot of people seem to frequent this inviting and welcoming space.
It illustrates the need people have to get out and gather with each other. This social tendency most people have prevents isolation, a condition that can lead to negative effects on mental health and society in general. Being alone is not a drawback, but the act of deliberate isolation over extended periods of time can lead to depression and anxiety.
When we feel isolated, any negative emotions in our minds assume larger dimensions than they need to have. Problems magnify beyond their original seriousness, causing us to overthink the issue at hand. That is why it helps to talk to other people about nettlesome problems.
Isolated people tend to engage in catastrophic thinking. This means that the manageable situation they have in reality has become a major life event in a mind gone into over drive. All that is usually required in this situation is the reassuring presence of another person.
Personal pride accompanied by the need to appear put together and in control prevents some people from approaching others with feelings they find uncomfortable. Deciding to keep something personal or discuss it with others can be a difficult dilemma to resolve.
A good question to ask is, “Will discussing this problem with someone else make it feel less burdensome or will this be accomplished by keeping it to myself?”
The answer to this will either increase or decrease feelings of isolation. Viewed in this light, the pluses of talking to others about emotions add up and leave the minuses far behind. The next time that someone you trust asks you, “How have you been?” you could make yourself feel better by talking about your problematic issue.
One symptom of depression is trying to isolate oneself a majority of the time. When this happens, it becomes important to take an uplifting action such as reading a favorite author or saying hello to someone. Even casual conversations can lift the clouds off of a gloomy mood.
Public spaces can remind us that no matter how isolated we feel, we are never that far away from other individuals. The chance that someone you see has felt the way you do at one time or another is high. It is good to remember that feelings of depression never happen to just one person and that these feelings will end if healthy steps are taken.
Taking time to be alone is different from being isolated because it can be a chance to reflect on thoughts and emotions. This time to process life in thoughtful and meaningful ways can leave us refreshed on many levels. Isolating happens because we do not feel prepared or fortified to face everyday life.
It is important to remember that our lives unfold because other people participate in the realities we choose to create. We are free to designate who, among the people we encounter, is healthy for us, and who will enhance our beneficial qualities. This ongoing process helps carry us through life in the best possible ways.
Quick Tip
One step you can take to diminish depression is to list all of your good qualities. Read the list on a daily basis, when your emotions go on a downward slope. The positive energy generated by doing this will enable you to feel better, and it will provide the energy you need to reach out to other people.
Scott Toler is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor living in Plant City. He can be reached at etoler25@tampabay.rr.com.