Boxer Jocks were a smash hit at Chamber’s after-hours event.
Like Andre Ward, I recently ended my boxing career without any losses.
Of course, our careers were totally different. Ward is a former Olympian and undisputed world champ. I operated a couple of robots at a Greater Plant City Chamber of Commerce event last Thursday. I had an awesome time stepping into the “ring” and learning how it feels to be a Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robot.
In my opinion, they should have these at every major event in Plant City. You could talk me into coming out of robo-retirement, especially in front of a crowd. What makes using the Boxer Jocks so fun isn’t just that you and another person are beating the nuts and bolts out of each other’s robots, but that you can apply legit boxing strategy in that ring and succeed.
Coincidentally, the event was held in the parking lot used by Plant City Boxing Gym and Advantage Restoration & Contracting. I’ve watched enough fights in that gym that I could practically hear Jose Rodriguez in my mind, coaching me up as I fought.
My first opponent was John Pike, who was just as eager to get into a robot as I was. Operating these things is a lot like driving a Bobcat: one handle controls the right side of the machine, the other works the left side and moving both in unison lets you drive forward or backward. Buttons on the top of each handle make your robot throw punches. Whichever boxer lands the most punches before time runs out wins. It’s pretty simple.
Like in real boxing, your movement is important to your success. I made it a point to try and cut off Pike’s angles and ended up backing him into a corner, which did put me at risk of eating bunches of punches. I positioned myself where I could stop his punches short with my left arm or body cage and have enough wiggle room to set up my quick right hand.
It worked way better than I thought — since I didn’t check either scoreboard, I was surprised to learn I won, 75-8. Pike and I shook hands afterward and talked about how cool it was to be able to do something like this.
Some time later, Jason “Jonesie” Jones and I decided we had to fight each other before the end of the event.
Before our fight, I heard Jones’s son, Noah, say he noticed punches didn’t always count when a robot’s arm didn’t extend fully. I saw it for myself right afterward, in another fight, and that explained why Pike’s score was so low. Had those short-arm punches to my robot’s head counted, I think it would have been a much closer fight. Against Jones, a prolific puncher, I knew my positioning was going to determine whether I won or lost.
During our fight, which was a total slugfest, I learned you can only punch with one arm at a time. You can, however, hold down the punch button to have your robot keep its arm extended. Jones was fighting in the blue robot, and I had noticed in my previous fight that its right punch was much faster than its left. I used my left arm to block all those rights and tie Jones up, then would back off and try to land shots with the right as I moved away. It didn’t help a ton, but it might have been the difference in the fight.
Jones was the first of us to hit the 100-punch mark, which came late in the fight, and I knew I had to act fast if I wanted to come out of there with the win. I stuck to my guns and fired off a flurry of well-placed head hits, angled myself to eat fewer punches and, against all odds, won by a score of 114-110.
I’m convinced “Jonesie” and I put on the greatest fight in robot boxing history. I don’t know which of us would actually win a best-of-three series, but if Plant City keeps bringing the Boxer Jocks back, I’ll be ready to find out.
