There’s no place for toxic machismo in coaching, yet the problem is there.
After seeing all the reports coming from the University of Maryland’s football program, I’m thankful to know some truly great coaches work in our area.
If you haven’t heard, allegations of abuse at the University of Maryland under head coach D.J. Durkin got a national spotlight following the preventable, heatstroke-induced death of sophomore Jordan McNair. The reports allege Durkin has run a program more determined to cull the weak than teach the players, forcing those who didn’t perform up to expectations to perform tasks well beyond what’s considered reasonable.
If you’re creating a culture of fear wherever you’re supposed to be a leader — whether it be with a sports team, in the classroom, with an extracurricular program, at your place of work or whatever — you’re a terrible leader of men and women. Remember it. Write it down, take a picture, I don’t care.
There’s a line between teaching young people to be tough and trying to give them post-traumatic stress disorder so you can feel in charge. Toughness doesn’t come from picking a kid off the ground following their collapse and forcing them to keep going or go down as a disgrace. Toughness doesn’t come from humiliating the kids you’re supposed to be leading by forcing them to eat candy bars in front of their exercising peers when they don’t meet a weight loss goal.
Kids pick up on what it means to be tough when they’re inspired to beat obstacles because they believe they can. Toughness comes from that spark of inspiration you get from having people in your corner who believe in you and don’t hide it. Toughness is when you fear nothing and no one in your way because you know you’ll triumph.
There’s a huge difference between yelling at a player during practice for making mistakes and punishing them until they break, either mentally or physically. If you think any of the offenses Durkin and the Maryland staff allegedly committed under his supervision are acceptable, your priorities are way out of whack. If what you’re doing could be considered abuse, you’ve got to check yourself before you do irreversible damage to someone’s livelihood.
The industry doesn’t need any more psychos in charge. There are tons of coaches out there who are successful without crossing the line between tough love and abuse. The “predator and prey” attitude should never be taken to extremes like that. This “cull the weak” attitude has no place in a profession where teaching athletes how to play better is literally in the job description. These people need therapy, not power, yet they’re getting it all over the country and many programs will turn a blind eye until stuff hits the fan like at Maryland.
Luckily, I know plenty of coaches in the Plant City area that really do care about their players’ well-being and futures. I’ve had a lot of people tell me over the years they came to (or came back to) Plant City because it’s a “great place to raise a family” and to that I’d add it’s also a pretty great place for our kids to play sports between our high schools, middle schools and youth programs.
I just hope our coaches continue to be positive role models in their kids’ lives, unlike these rage monster cases grabbing the headlines these days.
