What’s on Kline’s Mind? Man’s best friend — and training buddy

I’ve written much in the past about people losing a bunch of weight since I’ve been here. This is where the all-human streak comes to an end.

You can make whatever case you want against this, but I believe the greatest and best dog in the world is my cousin’s pit bull, Paul, who lives with my family out in Arizona. He’s a lovable goofball with better clothes than me whose only character flaw is getting too jealous of dogs that are on TV (especially Brad Pitt’s dog from Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood, we recently learned). He’s pretty tall and always carried his weight well, but I went out there two weeks ago to visit and saw my dude’s now looking kind of shredded. It was a little inspiring!

Granted, he still has a head the size of a bowling ball and a neck as strong as Takeo Spikes’s. But Paul went from being a little heavier than he should have been in 2018 to a lighter, nimbler version of himself in 2019. He lost close to 20 pounds between his diet and going for many more runs with my aunt and uncle, who will take any excuse to go do some cardio. Add in some resistance training — you don’t walk Paul, he walks you — and everyone benefits.

So while I am writing about Paul because I finally found a good excuse to be able to do it, I’m also here to say getting a dog might give you that extra push you need to get going on your own fitness goals.

Working out with other people is great and you should definitely do that, too. But when you want to do cardio, can you always count on someone else to run or walk with you? No, you can’t. But you know who won’t flake out on you at the last minute and leave you hanging while they catch up on The Witcher at home? That’s right, it’s the dog who doesn’t speak enough human to follow overarching plot lines but does know exactly what “go for a walk” means. The dog is excited to join you, and I’m fairly sure surrounding yourself with positive vibes is a resolution for 2020 that many of you posted on social media last week. You’ve always got a cardio buddy with the dog, and that’s a huge plus even with the fact that they can’t help you at all with weight training (though a Belgian Malinois is smart enough to fetch your phone and dial 9-1-1 when you need it).

Of course, dog ownership is also a huge commitment that not everyone is as ready for as they think they are. If you’re actively looking, this column should literally be the last thing you read after you’ve already carefully considered your situation and determined you can handle it. If you’re the classic grumpy dad who’s trying hard to be anti-dog for the family, don’t stress too much. You’re just gonna change your mind as soon as it comes home, naps with you in a chair and convinces you to go outside and play. That’s how they get you. If you can’t own a dog because of a strict HOA or a lack of time or whatever, or even if you have any shadow of a doubt about your ability to put that much time and energy into pet ownership, you can always run with a friend or family member’s dog. Maybe you’ll even run with those humans, too.

I strongly suggest adoption and, if I can keep being biased, I recommend starting with a pit bull named Bowie who lives at our managing editor’s house and is featured in this week’s big Cutest Critter section. He’s a little sketched out by unfamiliar men but eventually comes around, and he has enough puppy energy to give you a heck of a workout on any given day.